PHYSICS: A POSTER CHILD

 According to Newton's first law:        

The law of inertia states that an object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.  

A couple of days ago, I was talking with my dear friend Regina, and she said, "you know when you took physics in high school, and they taught..."  I interrupted and told her, "I didn't take physics."  She then referenced Newton's first law: "An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.  An object in motion continues in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force."  This was to explain why I (or she...I can't remember), hadn't done something or other.

OHHHHH!! I gamely exclaimed.  "That explains it!  I DIDN'T TAKE PHYSICS!!!!  If I had, I would be a published author by now, would never had gotten into that little scrape a while back, I would be skinny, totally NOT self indulgent, and would basically be on my game, ALL THE TIME!"  Just that one little change, if I had stuck with Mr. Ashraf in 12th grade, (which I dropped because I just didn't want to work that hard), life would have turned out just about perfectly.

Seriously though, it was like a happy little sledge hammer.  There was something in that glorious simplicity calling to me.  Physics...an object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object at rest, tends to stay at rest.  Simple simple simple.   

I am a poster child for this law of motion business.  

I have meditated, read self help books, cajoled, motivated, wondered, prayed, self examined, all to develop better "self discipline".  And oh!... when I get going....I am like the energizer bunny.  

Once started on a project (often long put off),  I will go and go, barely stop to eat, drill in, move mountains, regardless if its cleaning the garage, developing a presentation, talking to a friend, surfing the net, cooking, weeding (just one more weed, just one more weed....), writing, talking, researching, shopping, analyzing, or creating anything.

PROCRASTINATION...aaahh....Newton's Law!  DIETING...great while it's going....Break it?  aaah, keep breaking it.  Newton's Law!  I don't want to go to sleep at night, then, in the morning, don't want to get out of bed!....Newton's Law!  How many times have I heard someone say, I put it off forever, but once I start, I can't stop.  All of us so UNIQUE!  But not so much really.

I was talking to my super disciplined friend....single mom, works full time, commutes three hours each day back and forth to work, mows her lawn, cleans her house, takes care of her aging mom, an active friend, dedicated sister, very involved loving mom....a hard worker!  When I discussed this SIMPLE theory with her the other day, she said, "Yeah!! When I come home from work, if I sit down on the couch, THAT'S IT for the rest of the night.  I will get nothing done, I will get on my phone, the internet, the TV, I will not get up.  BUT, if I come home and do a chore, I will stay productive and get a bunch of needed stuff done."

EVEN HER!  I thought people like her, self disciplined, organized, on top of it, would be immune.  Not so.

The meaning of all this?  Once again, it's a "me too."  I am subject to the laws of science.  If I wonder why I am not motivated and then wait for the motivation to get started on that pet project, or visa versa, wonder why, once I get started, am like a steam roller,  ahhh, this simple law.  Why I don't just balance my work, stop and take a natural little break, eat lunch, dinner, water, then blithely get back to it, but instead no lunch, and just one more, just one more, just one more piece of work...oh and the best, I tell myself, I am just going to look at this ONE piece of news, or email, or Facebook post, and actually think that I will stop.  Of course I don't set up some "an unbalanced force" TO STOP.

This just darn simplifies everything.  I can be more realistic, and kind, and forceful too.  Of course I don't want to start this next piece of work.  It's simple science.  Of course I don't want to stop and eat dinner when I'm on a roll.  It's simple science.  And I can, with this simple awareness, be (or create) that unbalanced force to start or stop.

The one place this does not seem to come into play is hard exercise! Once I start, I want to stop, the whole time!  Really, five more push ups? Ride up that big hill?  More squats?  I want to stop now!! BUT, even with this, once I start, I will complete the set, no matter how much I hate it.  So it seems to work there too.

High School physics.  Maybe it wouldn't actually have changed my life if I took it.  Glad it didn't...life is pretty good.  

And to confess, I had heard that little theory even without high school physics.

Just do it, (bah, that didn't work for me),  why don't you just stop? (smoking, eating those cookies, whatever bad habit), nah didn't work for me.

Total change of path.  God works for me.  Turning to God to get the strength and direction to do what I believe God wants of me. That works for me.

God also gives us the laws of physics.  

Sometimes, it is not this complicated set of metaphysical/emotional rituals...meditation,  waiting for motivation, inspiration, etc... This is a humbling relief.  It is...get off the couch (or conversely, STOP and take a break!), and trust that right there, in that simple tiny action is where the motivation, inspiration, and plain darn practical living happens....that's where the ease comes in.  We will always be facing that darn law of inertia.  Now, at 58, I don't have to let it take me by surprise anymore!

CHASING THE "MORE"

My whole life, or so it seems, I have been trying to be "better".  In my 20s, trying to be prettier, more successful, more confident, oh, and thinner!  As I "matured", I desired to be...more whole, more present, less centered on me.  I do lots of things that distract me. Eat when I am not hungry,  spend too much time on the internet,  shop for things I don't need, rush to be on time, arrive late.  And I think, "Oh, if only I would me more present, stop distracting myself, stop avoiding my feelings, "be better" somehow.  THEN I would be good.

Today, after being told by friends, how healthy I look, I downed some leftover Carvel cake and a few sundry other things. Plus, if you didn't notice, I am on the computer, typing, writing this, after I said, "I am done with the computer and going to sleep"!  

I noticed myself thinking, 'oh Liora, when are you going to get it?  When will you just feel your feelings, not overeat, not obsess about your weight, not distract yourself with blah blah blah, etc...then you would be GOOD!'  And all of a sudden, something I read earlier hit me!

Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, of blessed memory, had responded to someone who was upset at their own indulgences, weaknesses, lack of discipline, impulsiveness, etc, and the Rebbe said something I interpreted to mean "me too!...I get that too. That's the animal soul pushing for its agenda".  

As I berated myself tonight, a few hours later at 11:30pm, to go to sleep earlier, eat healthier, feel my feelings more in the moment, and just darn be better, I realized....."Me too!  I get pulled, distracted, and sometimes give in to these pulls.  AND I KEEP TRYING!  And maybe, (as I interpret what another great man, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi said), maybe my whole purpose in life is to try again. To see the fall, notice it, give it over, and over and over to God, fall down again, be willing, get up again, and try again, and again and again and again........Maybe to expect myself to stop falling, is not the point.  Maybe I don't have to get skinny, or get a "healthy" perspective on the whole food, body image thing. Or on the internet thing.  Maybe I will spend too much time online, surfing amazon for pretty wall stickers, or whatever my fancy pulls up in a given moment, and then will get off, get present again, love on my kids, smile at the passerby, do someone a favor, love myself, and fall, and eat too much, and judge myself, and notice and give it over to God, and feel bad, and feel good, and maybe that's the point!  Not arriving at "healing" BUT at being okay in the mess, and even being okay in NOT feeling okay about being in the mess.  And trying again.  Capiche?

I am going to bed, or at least try.  Good night, Sweet dreams my love.

THE DOG WALK

I was out walking my two dogs earlier this afternoon.  One is big, strong and friendly, and the other is feisty, smallish, and does NOT get along with other dogs.   (Golden Retriever and Border Collie/Corgi/Whatever Else Mix)

We passed a family walking a standard poodle, and the poodle began yapping, barking, pulling towards us, and snarling.  Knowing my feisty one is ready for a rumble, I walked directly away onto a random neighbor's property in between two houses.  The elderly man holding the poodle's leash immediately extended his dog's leash!! (you know the 26 feet extendable leashes?)

Now I got my chance to get annoyed and self righteous (though I kept it to myself!).  Your dog is already out of control, why give him 20 or more feet to pull YOU off your feet??!!?, I thought.  Arghh!  I was proud of myself though, because I calmly avoided the calamity, and said to myself, "stop judging him. He probably isn't aware, like you are  (smug self satisfied face ), that you should SHORTEN, not lengthen a leash, if there is the possibility of a skirmish.  I went in, glad that we had avoided disaster, and I was sooo well mannered about it!

Fast forward to night time. I was out walking the big lop, and the feisty princess again, and I see this same man and poodle coming toward me.  At a safe distance, I shouted (politely and calmly), please shorten your dog's leash!   As we got closer, the elderly man, to my alarm, let his dog's leash out ALL THE WAY, so the dog was just upon us.

Now, I yelled ("gentility" gone), SHORTEN YOUR LEASH!!!!!!!!!!

Which he did.  Now, I am hot under the collar (no pun intended).  I said, with attitude, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE LEASH SHORT if you are coming up on other dogs!!!!!"  HE: "Well, he's friendly".  ME:  "Your dog was barking like crazy at my dogs earlier today!"  HE: "That's strange".  ME: "YOU HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO THESE THINGS!"  Then, self satisfied again, this time for the wrong reasons, I stormed off.

UGH!  When I got in....I remembered my daily goal...Try to be kind, compassionate, harmonious, a "get alonger!"  

UGH!!  Do I have to....?  Yes, I do.

I went back outside (withOUT my four legged cohorts!), and went to look for this gentleman.  I found him about 10 minutes later about to enter his home.  I thought to myself, if you just apologize for yelling at him, you will be doing it for yourself, and it won't really do either of you much good.  You gotta put yourself in his shoes... think how you would feel if someone just yelled (and scolded) you, what would make you feel better? 

So I said to him, "I apologize for yelling at you.  I got scared.  My smaller dog does not get along with other dogs, and if another dog comes up to her, she might start a fight."  He was very appreciative, and said, "Boy I got that wrong!  I thought you were saying to bring our dogs together to meet!"

"No", I explained.  "I was trying to keep them apart."  (Then with NO attitude), "If you see me coming in the future with my dogs, would you please shorten your dog's leash?"  "Yes! Yes! of course,", he said.  Then somehow, we got into a long conversation about his career, my work, where he and his family have lived, where we live, blah blah blah, and it was lovely!  Truly.  After about 15 minutes of chatting, we went our separate ways, and he said, "Thank you for coming to find me!  Really, thank you for coming to find me!"  

I walked away, a bit amazed.  It truly had completely turned around.  Not just to neutralized, but to super positive.  I have a new neighborly friend, and he has one in me.  

And to top it off, I started a blog.  Just now.  Here it is.

"Liora's The Get Along Blog".